Finding God in a Break Up

I understand how difficult it can be to read posts about breakups. Most of the time they’re written by someone who is already on the other side—someone who is in a happy relationship now and can say they’re glad the old one ended, someone who can confidently talk about the future.

But honestly? Breakups are awful.

Where am I writing from right now?
The truth is, I fear I may be in the middle of one.

And honestly, I might start writing this and not be able to finish it. I may come back later once things are finalized one way or another. Right now, the ending of my own story is still unclear.

I intentionally left things ambiguous to give both of us time to process, because decisions made from emotional exhaustion rarely lead to clarity.

But what about this awful middle ground of uncertainty?
Why would God remove someone from our lives?

The uncomfortable truth is that uncertainty is often exactly where God wants us.

We are not meant to have all the answers. If we did, we would never need to trust Him. We would never need to lean on Him for guidance or strength. If life were perfect, if everything made sense, and if we were always happy, of course it would be easy to make the right decisions.

But when things fall apart, when the path forward feels unclear, that’s when we are called to lean not on our own understanding, but on Him.

So what do I feel called to do right now?

To process.
To take care of myself.
To look inward and rediscover the love I have for myself—and most importantly, for God.

Because the truth is, you cannot truly love someone else if you do not first love Him, and second love yourself. Without that foundation, you are simply pouring from an empty cup.

So why do I feel like my relationship might be on the rocks?

Honestly—big emotions.

When we first met, everything felt peaceful. It felt easy. Almost perfect. But then reality stepped in, often in the form of spiritual warfare, fear, and doubt.

I’ve spent years in therapy. I’ve done a lot of inner work to heal past wounds. And even now, I still have to continually revisit that work to keep healing and growing.

My partner hasn’t walked that same path yet. And that’s not necessarily anyone’s fault. We all arrive at healing in our own time.

But sometimes life introduces something neither person can control—something that shakes the foundation a little. Something that reminds us that the world isn’t perfect, that we aren’t perfect, and that love sometimes requires us to face fears we didn’t realize we had.

In our case, that meant stepping back and reevaluating things. Fear of getting hurt can make people pause, even when the love is real.

Am I psychoanalyzing him? Probably.
Am I giving him too much benefit of the doubt? Maybe.

But honestly, only time will tell.

So what matters now?

I know that I love him. But whether he chooses me or not will never define my worth.

I am still worthy in the eyes of the Lord.

And I trust that if this relationship is meant for us, God will return it after we’ve both had the space to step back, re-center our lives, and grow into the people we need to be for each other.

And if we are not meant for one another?

If God has someone else planned for my future?

Then I trust that in time, I will be ready for that too.

Am I ready for something else right now?
Absolutely not.

I am deeply in love with my partner, and if this relationship ends, it will break my heart.

But I also know that I will still be okay.

There’s a Japanese art form called kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired using gold. Instead of hiding the cracks, the artist highlights them. The piece becomes more unique, more beautiful, and often more valuable than it was before it broke.

I like to think of the human heart that way.

Either I will become stronger for the person I love now, or I will become stronger for the person God has for me in the future.

Either way, I know I will be okay.

And I trust that the Lord will make sure you are okay too.